This may be harsh for some of my friends to hear, but I'm not all that sure God exists.
I've spent the vast majority of my life going to church because I was made to, praying to a God that I never saw or heard or really even felt. Other people seem to feel the effects of this God or higher being, but why haven't I ever been privy to it?
I've never seen or felt God, but I tell you what I have seen and felt: pain, heartache, homelessness, hunger, poverty, hate, racism, anger, divorce, abuse.. the list could go on. That's the world we live in. We live in a tangible world where real things happen everyday. You say this God is mighty to save, but look around you. We aren't getting better; we are getting worse.
Now, I'm not saying a higher being doesn't exist per say, I'm just saying that I don't think this prayer thing is really getting us anywhere. Everyone is so quick to say that God is doing such great things in their lives, but when something goes wrong, where is God then? Are you honestly going to sit there and say that when bad things happen in your life or in the lives around you, that God is just doing this to teach us a lesson?! REALLY?! God punishes you to teach you a lesson. God makes you impoverished to teach you a lesson. God allows guns and bombs and wars and people to kill other people to teach us a lesson?
Why can't we take responsibility for our own actions instead of saying that the actions around us are God-driven? Tell me: have you ever seen God? Have you touched him? Do you have lunch with him and discuss politics with him?
No.
You go to a building every sunday morning and sit there and listen while someone tells you that there's this great big guy in the sky that has control over everything in the world, and if we don't believe it, then we go to the great big guy in the ground. If God has control of the world, then why are there still wars and murders and gangs and droughts and landslides and earthquakes and flu shots that paralyze you and diseases that kill you?? Why is there racism and hate and discrimination? Why are we told to believe in and praise a God that allows all this crap in the world? Good things will happen to you if you believe in God. That's sounds awfully conditional to me.
We believe in a God that gives us hope for a better life and future. We look to him when things get bad. He gives us hope that things will get better. Look around you. Things are getting worse. I don't want to be jaded anymore.
I've seen so much since I've been traveling for my job. So much hate, discrimination, poverty against wealth, inner-city gangs, pregnant high schoolers who think that they'll never get into college, students who just don't care that they'll stay where they are their entire lives. I've seen schools and administrators that pit the wealthy against the poor, favor riches over poverty.
I've seen roads blocked off by police because of hold ups. I've seen and heard racism, discrimination of sexual orientation. I've seen billboards that were sponsored by churches that do nothing but exacerbate the issues, claiming, in big white letters sprawled across the interstate, "Ex-gays prove change is possible." I've seen a lot more now than my West Virginia eyes have afforded me before.
I think we pray to God because it's comforts us. That's what I did. I prayed to God when I lived in a situation that was unstable and argumentative and full of so-called sin. It made me feel better, thinking that there was something greater out there will a so-called divine plan. There was a reason the people I loved were going through such turmoil. Not so much anymore.
Many of you know the purpose of my blogs is just to get to put in writing the thoughts in my head-- the issues I've been toiling over in my own heart. I'm not saying that there isn't a God out there, but I'm just wondering what if he wasn't? How would our current situation change if there wasn't a God? I don't think things would be much different, to tell you the truth. So why do we put so much emphasis on a God that allows the crap we see in the world to go on? Why don't we just fend for ourselves? How much worse could things really get?
I've spent the vast majority of my life going to church because I was made to, praying to a God that I never saw or heard or really even felt. Other people seem to feel the effects of this God or higher being, but why haven't I ever been privy to it?
I've never seen or felt God, but I tell you what I have seen and felt: pain, heartache, homelessness, hunger, poverty, hate, racism, anger, divorce, abuse.. the list could go on. That's the world we live in. We live in a tangible world where real things happen everyday. You say this God is mighty to save, but look around you. We aren't getting better; we are getting worse.
Now, I'm not saying a higher being doesn't exist per say, I'm just saying that I don't think this prayer thing is really getting us anywhere. Everyone is so quick to say that God is doing such great things in their lives, but when something goes wrong, where is God then? Are you honestly going to sit there and say that when bad things happen in your life or in the lives around you, that God is just doing this to teach us a lesson?! REALLY?! God punishes you to teach you a lesson. God makes you impoverished to teach you a lesson. God allows guns and bombs and wars and people to kill other people to teach us a lesson?
Why can't we take responsibility for our own actions instead of saying that the actions around us are God-driven? Tell me: have you ever seen God? Have you touched him? Do you have lunch with him and discuss politics with him?
No.
You go to a building every sunday morning and sit there and listen while someone tells you that there's this great big guy in the sky that has control over everything in the world, and if we don't believe it, then we go to the great big guy in the ground. If God has control of the world, then why are there still wars and murders and gangs and droughts and landslides and earthquakes and flu shots that paralyze you and diseases that kill you?? Why is there racism and hate and discrimination? Why are we told to believe in and praise a God that allows all this crap in the world? Good things will happen to you if you believe in God. That's sounds awfully conditional to me.
We believe in a God that gives us hope for a better life and future. We look to him when things get bad. He gives us hope that things will get better. Look around you. Things are getting worse. I don't want to be jaded anymore.
I've seen so much since I've been traveling for my job. So much hate, discrimination, poverty against wealth, inner-city gangs, pregnant high schoolers who think that they'll never get into college, students who just don't care that they'll stay where they are their entire lives. I've seen schools and administrators that pit the wealthy against the poor, favor riches over poverty.
I've seen roads blocked off by police because of hold ups. I've seen and heard racism, discrimination of sexual orientation. I've seen billboards that were sponsored by churches that do nothing but exacerbate the issues, claiming, in big white letters sprawled across the interstate, "Ex-gays prove change is possible." I've seen a lot more now than my West Virginia eyes have afforded me before.
I think we pray to God because it's comforts us. That's what I did. I prayed to God when I lived in a situation that was unstable and argumentative and full of so-called sin. It made me feel better, thinking that there was something greater out there will a so-called divine plan. There was a reason the people I loved were going through such turmoil. Not so much anymore.
Many of you know the purpose of my blogs is just to get to put in writing the thoughts in my head-- the issues I've been toiling over in my own heart. I'm not saying that there isn't a God out there, but I'm just wondering what if he wasn't? How would our current situation change if there wasn't a God? I don't think things would be much different, to tell you the truth. So why do we put so much emphasis on a God that allows the crap we see in the world to go on? Why don't we just fend for ourselves? How much worse could things really get?
No comments:
Post a Comment