I Think I've Finally Gotten It All Figured Out

i'm 24. i haven't lived long, and i don't have a lot of life experience to back up this statement, but i think i've finally gotten it figured out... or at least most of it.


most of what, you might ask?!


life.


i figured out the objective of life... happiness, no matter what it takes. no one gets out alive anyway, so why worry yourself to death about trivial things that do nothing but bring you down? so you have problems. who doesn't? your family is psychotic. whose isn't? people are jerks. you'll have that. no one understands you. who will really ever understand you? who cares about all that stuff. nothing means anything unless you're happy with yourself and the life you've created.


that's really all life is. a creation of your choosing. you have free will to beat a path all your own, make your own decisions, keep the people you want in your life, move where you want, etc.


i see so many people in my life that struggle with everyday situations that, in retrospect, have no permanent bearing on their future. they let the small thing in life overtake them and overshadow the big picture, thus never allowing them to be happy.


then i see other people with big problems. life-changing situations that are placed before them, and yet, they still find a way to look at the positives... the silver lining. some people go through divorces, or crappy marriages, or shitty relationships, or job displacements, or losing a loved one, or financial trouble. some people get everything they want handed to them on a silver platter.


the one thing that everyone has in common, no matter what situation you're going through in life, is that it is ALWAYS your choice whether or not to be happy. ALWAYS. no one can choose that for you, and no one can change that if you don't let them.


and that's what i've figured out.


these past 6 months have really shown me how strong or weak i can be. i've finally learned who i am, what i can handle, and what i let handle me. it has shown me who my true friends are, who they weren't, and how i deal with heartbreak and failed relationships.


i've realized that i don't have to depend on someone else to be that first or last phone call of the day. i don't have to have a man in my life to get by. i don't always learn from my parents. i AM strong enough to get through this life alone. i do have a positive effect on others lives. i don't have to accept the mediocre. i can be opinionated, and yes, people will still like me. and if they don't, then i can't change that.


2009 has been a crazy year thus far. some things i would liked to have done differently, but i don't live with regrets. i never have. some times were hard, but it is the hard times that prove who you really are. so i'm thankful for the hard times.


i've chosen to be a lot of different things these past few months, but i choose happiness.